I just want to inform you that it is easy for me to blog today, I am babysitting and my jewels (grandbabies) are fast asleep napping. But tomorrow I will be on the ambulance again, and it is hit or miss of how the day will be. I could either be really busy or slow or steady. So if I don't have a chance to blog please don't use it against me. (ha ha I thought it would be easy but my internet connection quit on me)
I don't know if I told you, but I have been a paramedic for almost 17 yrs. Yea, I started late in life. I actually was a beautician working in Norman, OK when the Oklahoma Bombing happened. I will never forget that day, I was so disturbed, and yet something told me I had to be at the bombing site to help the hurting people. I was never as upset as that day when I was turned away. Crying I drove quickly home to get the TV on so I could see how else I could help. I brought down blankets like they asked and than I signed up to help clean up the bombing site. That was a adventure of its own. The secret service was all around us. They put hard hats and face masks on us and herded us like cattle. We were not allowed to look around. If we starred an anything else but what we were told to do they would escort us back to our car.
Anyway that is where I got the inspiration to write A Struggle of the Heart. Only the heroin is 20 yrs old not 40 yrs old and I threw in a love affair. But the desperate feeling of hopelessness and fear of what I experienced is in the story. Also I put in true events from going to EMT school so it was a pretty easy manuscript to write. Here is one of my pics of the OKC bombing site.
Well where was I. We got married, and it was a beautiful wedding. We played music by records which was not really heard of yet. We played the Wedding Song by Paul Stooky and I Got You Babe by Sonny and Cher. Yes we played the records because we wanted the exact way they sang the songs. Maybe we were a little before our time. But our wedding was beautiful. We had two receptions, one at church and one at a hall. We had relatives on both sides of the family that drank and our church friends would have been offended. The wedding night is not the night to consummate a wedding. After counting all the money we got for gifts we were so tired but we still made love. We left the next day for Colorado. Jimmy had a trailer behind the car and his motorcycle was on it. We tried to camp the first night but it was way to cold. So we found a little cottage with a kitchen, bedroom and living room and spent our two weeks there. It was so much fun riding on the motorcycle through the mountains and visiting places like the Garden of the Gods. If anyone has ever been in Colorado, you know how beautiful it is there, you can only get lost in the radiant sight of the mountains and the sunsets.
Two weeks came and went and real life had to begin. My father in law built an apartment in the basement of their home. It seems Jimmy was going to get married once before also, and the apartment was made for them. But I didn't care. My in-laws were such sweet people, so I didn't mind living down stairs. We had a real apartment. It had a kitchen, living room, bedroom and full bath.
Now Jimmy and I both are Italian with quick tempers. So needless to say, we got into a lot of arguments and fights. The first year was very hard. First we didn't really know each other very well, and now we were trying to live together. We were two young kids in love, and still trying to have fun like nothing was different. I went lounging still with my two girlfriends on Fridays, and sometimes Jimmy would come with. I was told that I could dance fast if a boy asked me to, but I was not allowed to dance slow and let another man hold me. Agreed. Jimmy could go out with the boys on Friday if he wanted but we gave each other a curfew. We had to be home by four a.m. or that would mean one of us was busy with somebody else. Life was good. Jimmy made hamburgers most evenings for dinner and afterwards we would go to bed, make love and sleep.
JImmy decided to go to chef school and when he came to the baking part of the school, he quit and went on to baking school instead. Jimmy got a job at a bakery and I got a job at 7-11 food stores. We both worked midnights. It was great going shopping in the middle of the night on our days off because we could not sleep. We were enjoying married life.
Next thing that happened I got pregnant. We were not prepared for this. Heck we hardly knew each other when we got married, and now 2 1/2 yrs later we had a little girl. This was hard on both of us. The baby cried and since I didn't know how to stop her, I would cry also. Jimmy didn't like the noise or the messy house he would come home to. My in-laws tried to help when they could. Finally we bought a new house. We were moving out on our own. The pressure was on. Now Jimmy had to support a wife, a daughter and a new house. So he got himself another job. He got a job working at a restaurant on the evenings he was not working at the bakery.
I was getting lonely with him gone so much. The nights he worked at the restaurant he was suppose to be getting off around midnight or one a.m. but he started coming home later and later. Than it occured to me we gave each other curfews a couple of years ago, with the understanding that we would always be home by four a.m. So I questioned him the second night he came home after four. He didn't understand what I was so upset about. I was just talking with the guys, he would say. The next weekend he came home after four again and I am pretty sure I smelt perfume. We talked, argued and he promised it would not happen again. The next weekend I waited till four a.m. He did not come home, so I packed up my baby and went to a hotel for the night. I did not leave a note of where I was. I wanted to make a point. The next day when I came home, everyone was looking for me, my parents, his parents and Jimmy. As we talked he finally admitted to me that he was talking to an waitress and forgot the time. Then he decided that maybe we needed some time to see if we were compatible. So he wanted me to live upstairs in our home and he would live downstairs and we would go out with other people, like we were separated to see if we were really in love. Whew I was long winded again. Sorry. Well this is enough for now and hopefully I can blog tomorrow. One thing to remember is trust is very important in a marriage.
I am the Author
a wife, a mother, a grandmother, and still believe in the power of love &